Friday, July 18, 2014

Note to self

Dear 12 year old me,
Hi. This is you when you turn 19. How are you holding up? Well, I dint mean to disturb your extremely busy life- which has studies, sports and family on the mind! Thinking of the Monday test, of the family function you just attended and why your guy friends had suddenly started acting strange! Haah, you naive little one. Sorry for spoiling all the innocence and all the fun, let me save you a few heartbreaks. One, all these friends who tell you to do their homework- they are not going to be around for anything more than that. You must thinking- ofcourse not, they are my sweetest friends. Hello lady, it is all crap and you would know it, eventually. At about 14, you would fall in love. Or atleast you would think you have fallen in love- and no, you have not! I am positive about that. You would thinking about this one guy, all the time. Dream of being with him- forever and ever. All those Taylor Swift songs would have gotten to your head by now and you'd be waiting for the white horse. That particular guy is going to smash your heart all over the place. At this time, you would meet some amazing girls. They would be your family, your everything. It does not stay. You would try your very best to have those special people making you feel the same like they did 2 years back but they won't. I'm sorry, but it is going to be painful. You would come into a different environment and well talk to people. You would talk to a lot of people because you never saw something wrong in just "talking". One day- "poof" that bubble is going to burst. The reality of life is going to drag you pulling your hair. Then, something amazing would happen. After all the bitter pills you swallowed, all the heartbreak you consumed and well a lot of hurt that you gave to people, there is still going to be something good left for you. You would have a wonderful man walk into your life. And he is going to change all of it. He is going to tell you where the "shit" in the bullshit lies. That very man is going to take all those pieces of yours and hold them in his hands. He is going to endure all the pain that comes from holding YOUR pieces with him. And oh my, you're going to really fall in love this time. You will hurt him, so many times. I know, that is the bad part. I am sure you would never want to hurt a good person right now but well, I guess you are not perfect. But, you lucky girl- he would still love you with all he has got. He will want to protect you from everything he thinks can go wrong with you. You would get angry and pissed about why he does what he does, but eventually it will hit you. Eventually you would know that he wanted to hide you from the world because everyone is the world would not be as pure as him. Everyone in the world would be like garbage, thinking of every other person as dirt, too. 
You will go a long way. And, after another 7 years- I am going to write to you again, telling you how you made the right choices and married this man.
Or atleast, I hope this is what I would write that day.

You take care, you're a tigress. 
Love,
Your 19 year old self.

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